How To Coach A Staff Member Through Conflict

How to Use the GROW Coaching Framework to Help Staff Manage Workplace Conflict

Workplace conflict is an inevitable part of any organisation or group. In fact, there will be some element of conflict in literally every single workplace relationship you have. Whether it’s a difference of opinion, miscommunication, or competing priorities, these conflicts can disrupt productivity and negatively affect the team environment if not handled properly. As a manager or team leader, one effective method for supporting your staff in managing conflict is through coaching. One of the most widely recognized coaching models is the GROW framework, which can help staff members navigate conflict constructively while developing their problem-solving skills.

In this article, we’ll explore how to use the GROW coaching model to guide a staff member through managing conflict, empowering them to take ownership of the situation and find effective resolutions.

What is the GROW Coaching Framework?

The GROW model is a coaching tool that helps individuals navigate challenges by providing a structured approach to problem-solving. It breaks down coaching conversations into four key stages:

• Goal

• Reality

• Options

• Way Forward (or Will)

By working through each stage, the coach (or manager) helps the coachee (staff member) develop a clear understanding of the issue, identify actionable solutions, and commit to steps that will resolve the conflict.

Let’s look at each stage in detail and how it applies to coaching a staff member through a workplace conflict.

1. G – Goal: Setting the Objective

The first step in the GROW model is to clarify the goal. In the context of conflict management, this means identifying the desired outcome of the conversation. When coaching a staff member through a conflict, their goal might range from restoring a positive working relationship with a colleague to resolving a specific issue or simply learning how to handle similar situations in the future.

Questions to ask at this stage:

• “What do you want to achieve from resolving this conflict?”

• “How would you describe a successful outcome?”

• “What would the ideal working relationship look like after this situation is resolved?”

For example, if your staff member is in conflict with a colleague over project responsibilities, their goal could be to agree on a clear division of tasks moving forward, or to establish more open communication to prevent misunderstandings. Setting a clear, positive goal is crucial because it keeps the conversation solution-focused and encourages the individual to think beyond the immediate frustrations.

2. R – Reality: Understanding the Current Situation

Once the goal is clear, the next step is to assess the current reality. This involves helping the staff member describe the situation as objectively as possible, recognizing the contributing factors to the conflict, and acknowledging how they and others involved are feeling about it.

During this stage, it’s important to focus on facts rather than opinions. Encourage the staff member to consider the conflict from multiple perspectives, especially that of their colleague. The aim here is to increase awareness of the underlying causes of the conflict and to challenge any assumptions that may be skewing their view.

Questions to ask at this stage:

• “What’s happening right now that’s contributing to the conflict?”

• “What have you observed in your interactions with your colleague?”

• “What do you think is their perspective on this situation?”

• “What actions have you taken so far to address the conflict?”

By grounding the conversation in the reality of the situation, you help the staff member understand the broader context, including their own role and behavior. This awareness is essential for developing empathy and a realistic understanding of the dynamics at play.

3. O – Options: Exploring Possible Solutions

After gaining a clear understanding of the current situation, the next step is to explore options for resolving the conflict. Encourage the staff member to brainstorm a variety of potential solutions without immediately judging or dismissing them. The goal is to generate a range of possibilities before narrowing down the most feasible options.

Coaching in this stage should emphasize creative problem-solving, encouraging the staff member to consider approaches they might not have thought of before. It’s also helpful to ask them to weigh the pros and cons of each option, including potential outcomes and consequences.

Questions to ask at this stage:

• “What are some potential ways you could address this conflict?”

• “What would be the impact of each approach?”

• “Which option seems most likely to achieve your goal?”

• “What could you do differently that you haven’t tried before?”

This stage is critical for empowering the staff member to take ownership of the conflict resolution process. Rather than providing solutions, guide them through the process of developing their own strategies. This not only helps in the current conflict but also builds their confidence and conflict resolution skills for the future.

4. W – Way Forward: Creating an Action Plan

The final stage in the GROW model is the “Way Forward,” where the staff member decides on the specific steps they will take to resolve the conflict. This is where the conversation turns into a commitment to action. The staff member should outline what they will do, when they will do it, and how they will measure success.

At this point, it’s important to ensure that the staff member is fully committed to the chosen approach and understands the steps they need to take. Clarify any obstacles they may face and how they plan to overcome them. The manager or coach should also set up a follow-up plan to check on progress and offer support where needed.

Questions to ask at this stage:

• “What specific actions will you take to resolve this conflict?”

• “What will you do first, and by when?”

• “How will you measure success?”

• “What support or resources do you need to follow through?”

An example could be the staff member scheduling a one-on-one meeting with their colleague to openly discuss the conflict and propose a way forward. Or they might decide to approach the issue through mediation or involving a neutral third party. Whatever the action, the key is to ensure that it’s clear, achievable, and aligned with their original goal.

Conclusion

Coaching a staff member through workplace conflict using the GROW framework is a powerful way to empower them to take responsibility for resolving the issue. By guiding them through the process of setting a goal, understanding the reality of the situation, exploring options, and committing to a way forward, you not only help resolve the immediate conflict but also equip them with valuable skills for future challenges.

Workplace conflicts don’t have to be disruptive or damaging. When managed effectively, they can lead to stronger relationships, better communication, and a more positive workplace environment. By using the GROW model, managers can support their staff in becoming more self-reliant problem solvers, capable of navigating conflicts with confidence and professionalism.